The Braxtons: Lessons In Co-dependence.

Braxton Family Values Season Five Promo Picture.

Before I start this piece. Let me say, that I love and live for all that is Toni Braxton. I have been riding with her since her 1991-92 debut. You know, the one where she had her original nose. Yeah, that one.

She was the 90's answer to Anita Baker. (Google her, if you don't know who she is.) Her sensuality, her sultriness and of course that deep, low Phyllis Hyman conaltro voice.  However, this piece is not about her voice.

This post is about her family. Well, not her family per-se.' Because this isn't a personal piece. This is about something that I've noticed since the start of their show Braxton Family Values back in 2011. Now, when the show first came on the scene. I was all here for it. I thought. "Oh boy, we get to see what Toni Braxton is like when she's not singing."

It was also nice to get to know more about Tamar (Who I had been a fan of since her first album which came out in 2000), Traci, Trina, Towanda and Ms.E.

However, now that the show is in it's fifth season. I'm starting to notice something I've seen since the start of season 2. It is this: When I look at the braxton girls. I see a crippling co-dependent relationship.

Now there's nothing wrong with begin there for your family whether they are by blood or the family you choose to love. However, you neglect your own life, emotions and yes, even spouses because you're "family." there's a problem.

Case in point. Whenever there's an event or something for Toni. Everyone and I mean everyone runs like the wind to be there for her. Now, I understand that she is the "star" but really? Can't you say no sometimes?

What about your other sisters and their events? If you can juggle photoshoots, press and the like. Then you can be there for your other sisters too. Not just when it works for you.

What I've also noticed with each of the girls is this constant need for approval. From everyone but themselves. It's sad and it's crippling.  Especially when it comes to their parents. I understand that they love their parents but please, let them live their own lives and truth.

Because the way you've been forcing them along with all of you to be "one big happy family" is driving them crazy. If you know there is pain between two people, you don't force it to work. You allow them to figure it out or you let it go.

You're not little girls anymore, you're grown women with families of your own. Spend time in the now and stop trying to recapture fragments of your childhood. Instead try begin there for more than just Toni, Trina and Tamar.

Towanda and Traci has issues too. For instance, her divorce. What I noticed was that during that time. The sisters were there for her but Towanda would shut down. The reason? Because she knew that in less than 60 seconds.

The issues would shift and no one care about her problems. However, she must care about there issues. Same thing with Traci. For awhile, it was all about Toni, Tamar and Trina. When it came to Traci. She was either "The Wanna-Be" or "The Fat Girl." Which would cause her to act out in fits of rage.

Which she still does. If you don't believe me. Watch the first episode of this season. Ladies, allow each other to just be. It's not always about you. Also, it's okay to say that you don't like a sibling. It doesn't mean that you don't love them. It's means that you're human and that's okay.

Finally, stop having these interventions! They are NOT working! Get rid of "Dr" Sherry, "Bishop" T.D. Jakes and do not bring in Iylana! Get some real, raw help. That's not in front of a camera.  You ladies are all beautiful, talented women.  Are some of you going to be where your eldest sister once was?

No. However, that's okay. The thing that makes this world so great is that you can make your own thing work for you.  Make your mark on your own. You need each other as support, not as oxygen.

Remember that.

Love, Leo Brown :)