You Picked Them.

Hello Readers,

Today I am going to talk about something that I've been debating in my head. At first, I wasn't  sure if I should discuss this because I may get some backlash but I've realized that backlash can be a good thing. So, here goes. I want to talk about the about the mates that we tend to choose.

I've noticed that when we set our sights on someone, we have either do two things, we have a plan already in place in our minds or we just hope for the best. What I've also noticed is that when things are great, we are on cloud nine. Now, when things get bad, the first thing we echo is 'Why are they like this?' Well, let's take a moment to think about that shall we?

Often times, when we've met or are in the process of getting to know someone, we tend to overlook the big things. Why? Because we are so 'into' them that we don't see the flaws and imperfections that the person may have.  I'll give you an example. It was the winter of 09' January to be exact. I had met this guy online that I'll call Jose. Jose and I talked via online and phone for three months before meeting in person. We had scheduled.to meet at our local airport in town.

So, I take the local train to the airport, call him let him know that I've made it.  Guess What? Jose never showed up. So, here I am at the airport for I think it was a total of 11 hours. That's right boys and girls 11 fucking hours!  We talked about it later on and I tried not to show my anger but inside I was boiling. I was not only angry, I was hurt. In my mind, I was thinking "How could he do this to do me?"

Which brings me to the start of this post. I knew, knew it deep down in my guts that Jose and I were not to be. I just didn't listen to the signs that were right in front of my face.  Jose was 5'3, temperamental, hood as hell, had a (I hate this word with a passion) baby mama and was bi-sexual. Nothing wrong with the last part. Anyway, what I am saying is that despite all this drama and b.s. I saw in front of me, I went for him anyway.

 Why you ask? Because I was lonely, had very low self confidence and self worth, and I was horny.  So, we finally hookup and I have to say the sex was good but that still didn't take away the massive differences Jose and I had.

When you choose someone, think about them long and hard. Not just the good things about them because often times we are not into them, we're into the fantasy we have in our heads of them, and I hate to break it to all of you but no amount of peen slammin' or vee-jay-jay lickin' is going to change the person you are with. They have to want to change.  You can't force them to change either. I mean, if you changed the person you're with you wouldn't like them.

The main question you have to ask yourself is can you handle all of them,  not just the things that make you happy. Because relationships are not one-sided and they take a great deal of work.  So the next time your mate does something that you can't stand or something that you dislike but you've never paid attention to, step back and ask yourself can you handle this? most of all remember you picked them.

Live in Balance, Leo Brown