Dear Straight Women, We Want You, We Don't Need You.

Miss Lawrence, Bevy Smith and Derek J. 

Gay men and straight women. The relationship that we have can be at times an odd dance. One minute, we're the best of friends. Always there for each other. With ice cream and wine in hand.

Ready to watch Waiting to Exhale, Begin Mary Jane or Will and Grace at a moment's notice. To her, we're the gay bff she's always wanted and needed. To us, she's the mother/sister friend that we can go to the club with and talk about boys with. For a moment. It's a perfect fit. Then suddenly something starts to shift.

I don't know what exactly happens but the person that we thought of as a friend. Either they start to change or we change. Either way, things are never the same.  It's hurtful, it's anger inducing and it's sad for everyone involved.

At the start of the friendship. It was cool to gossip and "spill the tea" with each other while watching housewives or just chilling with one another. Then as things progress, our faithful girlfriend decides that it's okay to get a really bad case of shit in the mouth disease.

Instead of saying, Hey (insert whatever term of endearment you use here) to said friend. She comes to you with :Yass gawd honey! Luv you boo! Okay, back up and back off. Girlfriend, there's no need for all of that. A simple hi, hello or hey will do.

Then, when it comes to relationships. We're always there for her. However, if and when we're going through it and need a little advice. Crickets. However, we can sit sip wine, while bumping the latest Mary J. Blige album with them and all is well in the world.

In the words of the late Whitney Houston. "It's not right but it's okay." Because like the mighty elephant, We never forget. It's just not fair to be in a one sided friendship/relationship for anyone. Regardless of gender or sexuality. All you can do is try to be there for each other.

For instance, when we go out together. Let's be friends and look out for one another. Don't put our sexuality on display by saying things like: "It's okay, he's my gay bestie." No bitch, I thought I was your friend. Not your trophy.

 Allow us to do us and we'll do the same for you. We're big, grown men. If we can handle or give dick out. We can deal with a few people that we don't know.

Speaking of going out. We are not I repeat not your stylist or makeup artist. Even if we were that doesn't give you the right to use the fact that we know how to put together a look or beat a face to your advantage. If this is what we do for a living and you know this, then you have one option that will us both happy. Pay us.

Not just in plane tickets or hotels but with actual money. Cause, guess what girl? We have bills too. If we suggest something, either go with it or keep it moving. Simple as that.

Besides, most of the gay men that I know. Don't know a damn thing about fashion/style or makeup. This isn't reality TV, this is real life.

Finally, just because we happen to be gay and we know "some people" doesn't mean that because we're friends that it grants you a hookup to a pride event, concert or the like. In other words. Don't use us as come up for you.

Like any transaction, come to us and ask us for our assistance. We then have the choice to say yes or no. Respect us and give us that choice. How would like it if the shoe was on the other foot? You wouldn't so don't do it to us.

Remember ladies, we truly want to be your friends. Not your lapdogs or purses. For the gay men that allow women to continually mistreat them. Grow a voice and pair of balls. If she/he/them cannot and does not honor you as you honor yourself.

Then you do not need them/he/her/  All you truly need is yourself.

Love, Leo Brown :)