Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Leo Revealed: My Life With Cerebral Palsy.

Healing The Wounded Child.

Everyone has something "wrong "with them. It could be a lazy eye or an odd looking toenail. No one is perfect. No matter hard we try to strive for it. Now that all sounds good to hear but the truth is that for some of us. We hide our imperfections by pretending that they don't exist.  For years this was me.

My Legs. (Right is longer than the Left)
You see, I was born with a disability. I have spastic cerebral palsy. I will admit even writing down those words was and is hard for me. I've never embraced my disability. All my life, I wanted to blend in, be normal and treated like everyone else. I can remember as a little boy having to go to adaptive physical education and hating it.

I can remember thinking "I'm not like these people." I'm not different." "I don't walk funny." All my life I've run away from my disability or overcompensated because of it. I always thought I had to work twice as hard as the next person to show them and myself. "See, I am just like you."  For many years I have carried around guilt, sadness, shame and anger. I've hated the way I've walked or that I needed assistance to do tasks that many take for granted.

However, as hard as this is for me. I realize that's time for me to stop running from my disability, from me. Like it, Love it or Hate it. This is part of who I am. Today, I now embrace cerebral palsy, my cerebral palsy with open arms and an open heart.

For many years, I've thought of myself of begin alone, poor and unloved. All because of the fact that I walked funny and if I were were to have people around. They would be forced to take care of me. For so long I've seen myself as undesirable, unwanted. Odd.   I realize now that by me talking about this. I'm putting my fears to bed, Which is where they belong in the first place.  Today, my healing starts now.

How CP Impacts My Life.

When people ask me why I have a cane. I always give the simple answer. Which is I have cerebral palsy. I've never gone into detail about it until now. As I've said before I have spastic cerebral palsy.
My left leg with surgery scar

My right arm.
It basically means that my reflexes can be very exaggerated and muscle movement is stiff. I also have issues with things such as balance, coordination, flexibility and muscle tone. Because of this. I've had 13 surgeries, had my calf muscles cut in half on both legs, had my ankles broken and then reset with pins in them. Worn and slept in braces. One of the reasons I use a cane is to aid with things like balance.

My right leg. With surgery scar.
Left Leg with Hamstring scars from surgery.

Right Leg With Hamstring scars from surgery.

When I walk I tend to drag both of my feet. So shoes don't last very long with me. I am also partially paralyzed on my right size as it is the weaker part of my body. If you were to see me to walk. You'll notice that I trend to drag my right foot along.  Which is not easy for a thick bitch like me. It wears me out and one right leg is a couple of inches longer than my left.

When it comes to things like dating or even just meeting friends. I won't tell people about my cp because I would think that they would either leave me or they wouldn't want to be around me.  I  am not trying to be dishonest. I just was protecting myself and begin stubborn.

Even though, there are times where I trip and fall or I have to stop rest to catch my breath from dragging my right leg. All the while, I'll tell the person I'm with that I am okay. When that wasn't /isn't true. This truth is. There are times that I do need help. That I do have to stop to rest.

My Wheelchair. (We've been through a lot together)
There even times that I use wheelchairs or scooters to get around places like theme parks or big grocery stores.  I have to admit that I get a kick out those things. They're fun!!

The reason I am writing about this because it's time for me to come clean and left go of the pain. I've been carrying this around for too long. We all have limitations and you what? That's okay. It's not only okay. It's normal. We wouldn't be human if we didn't have something that makes us stand out.

None of us are meant to blend in. So don't! I hope that these words have/ will inspire someone to stand out and not blend in. From the bottom of my heart.

Love, Leo Brown :)

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Star Readings: Robert Wesley Branch.

Television producer and radio show host Robert Wesley Branch has been there, done that and is a living, walking testimony that anything is not only possible but in order to see the possible you must go through the impossible. Robert is a man on a mission of growth, self love and empowerment in every aspect of his life.

Robert's Mission.
Healing. Healing is Robert's mission. Healing himself and healing the world through the power of the television. Which is why he is behind the camera instead of in front of it. He knows that he can make a bigger, bolder impact by producing. There are three things on the table in regards to television and I pick up him speaking and writing a book as well. Look out for that within 2017-2018. I also pick up something in regards to him working with Tavis Smiley as well. I sense they're collaborating on the something for the future.

Robert and Spirituality.
Christ Consciousness. I didn't say christianty. I said christ consciousness. To Robert there are many, many paths to the truth and many connections to the divine. He plans to know about every one of them or at least read about them. Along with applying them to his life. To Robert everything has a spiritual connection. I pick up him learning more about God and how to tap into his higher self as the year comes to an end. Which is what is inspiring his writing, teaching (I pick up him teaching in the next two years or so) and speaking.

Robert's Personality.
Classy, sassy and down to earth. That is Robert in a nutshell. Many may think that he is a snob. Not really, Robert just knows what and how he wants things done. For some, it rubs people the wrong way. Trust me there is no ill intention on his part. Despite his at times serious persona. Robert loves to laugh and is a big prankster but even his brand of humor will make you think deeply. He needs to take the time out to laugh more and think less. As his mind is always “on”.

Robert and Health
When it comes to health in every arena of himself. Robert strives for begin at his absolute best. I pick up a great deal of running, meditation and healthy eating. Careful Robert, It's okay to give yourself a little room to wiggle if you so choose. As he loves trying new foods and experimenting with different types of fruits and veggies. I pick up a lot and I do mean a lot of smoothies. Also Robert, be careful when it comes to your running. I pick up a little bit of joint issues. I also see him doing other activities such as yoga and hiking.

Robert and Love.
Self Love is on Robert's mind. Not the physical kind. Robert knows the power the love has and wants to be sure that he uses that power wisely. He also knows that love is more than just having someone in your bed. For Robert there are different types of love and he's embracing them all. Which is helping him to heal and feel from a deeper place. As for having a mate, he knows that it's all about timing and also that his calling is deeper than we what see with our eyes. His goal is for love, healing and empowerment to shine from the inside out and in every form. Don't worry Robert, you're on the path that you were meant to be on.

Love, Leo Brown :)

Who should be the next star reading?

Listen to Robert's show here : The Robert Wesley Branch Show. 

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Star Readings: Prince Ea.

Spoken word artist and rapper Prince Ea is here to expand your consciousnesses. Thanks to his ever popular video. Why the world should end. He sat the public up at attention. Underneath his powerful words, there are sides to him that the public doesn't know. Today, we may find out about some of them.

Prince's Mission.

Empowerment. Education and Inspiration. This is Prince Ea's mission. He's not just talking to hear himself speak. He's talking because deep down he knows that many of us in this world are hurting and wanting to learn more about the world around us and ourselves. Speaking and writing are both his mission and calling.

Prince's Career

A spoken word and rap tour are either in the works or he's developing something like this very soon. There is also a series of books coming our way as well. Prince wants to take his time and not rush into just any old deal. He's wants to make sure that it's something that he can be proud of and something that his fans will enjoy for years to come. There's also talks of him doing something in regards to the small screen. So right now even though, the world is his oyster. Prince doesn't want to take himself too seriously, he just wants to enjoy the ride.

Prince and Family

When it comes to family this word is a very fluid one for him. He feels that everyone is family and that we are all interconnected. As for his personal family they mean everything to him and some are his biggest supporters. I sense a strong connection to the elders of his family. However, he also knows whom to take on this journey and who not to. Don't worry Prince, it's good to keep your guard up but not everyone is out to use you.

Prince and Health

When it comes to health Prince is all about taking care of oneself. I see him training himself and others on how to live a very healthy life. Both internally and externally. I don't see any big health issues. Other than the fact that he's to learn to quiet his mind and that he worries about things and people too often. That's only because things affect him on a deep level and that he's had some battles with depression in the past. There's something to do with doing personal training along with his motivational messages. That should be happening within the next year or two.

Prince and Spirituality

Spirituality is very important to Prince. However, if you asked him his faith he wouldn't give you a religion. He'd simply say love. Peace, growth, knowledge and understanding are all apart of Prince's faith. His is also very psychically aware. Things come to him either in dreams or by him just reading or feeding off of a person's energy. Despite his very at times matter of fact personality. Prince is very funny and loves to laugh. He loves all of the simple things in life. Good friends, family and yes, even good food. He doesn't want to be rich or even famous. He just wants the world to be a better place than he has found it and he wants to be happy.

Love, Leo Brown :)

What is your favorite Prince Ea piece?
Who should be the next star reading?

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Star Readings: Eugene Lee Yang.

Try Guy! Eugene Lee Yang is a star on a mission. What is his mission might you ask? Simple. To make you think, make you feel and most of all make you laugh. He also wants to empower him and others like him. Eugene's job is to show us that the world we live in is a world full of color, possibility, humor and hope. With his daily, funny and sometimes thought provoking videos on buzzfeed. That's exactly what Eugene is doing.

Eugene and Health.

I chose this first because it came to me first. For the love of all the gods Genie, you need more better, restful sleep. He's always in his head, always thinking, always dreaming. Physically, he's good but I pick up him trying to eat better and slowly cutting back on the junk food. You're doing well Genie, just remember everything in moderation.

Eugene's Career.

Busy and very hectic. I pick up a lot of writing, editing and directing going on in the next six months. Not just for buzzfeed either. There is talk of him either begin involved in some television projects. I don't know why but NBC keeps coming in as well as MTV. Eugene wants to show us his world and the diversity within it. Don't be shocked if a try guys series isn't in the works. I pick up that there have been talks about it. Buzzfeed is growing very fast and beyond the internet. Even though the internet and social media are great platforms for it. I pick up within the next 3-5 years buzzfeed will be on our television/movie screens.

Eugene and Spirituality

Contrary to what we may see. Eugene is a very spiritual person. Especially when it comes to energy and the energies around him. He picks up on things and people very easily. He's also someone who is very private when it comes to spiritual things. He's had some experiences that have made him go within a great deal and think about the world from more than a material place. He knows deep down that he is very fortunate and grateful to be where he is in his life. As he has had many, many dark moments. Watch out for your depression Genie, don't let it get you. Use it as a teacher.

Eugene and Family.

When I tap into this part of him. I pick up his mother. For some reason he needs to see her more or they need more bonding time as well with his other family members. When it comes to family, family isn't just blood to him. Eugene has one of the biggest hearts and there are times where people have used that against him. He's not one to hold anger but he doesn't forget either. His friends and co-workers are his family just as much as his mother and blood relatives are. He wouldn't have it any other way. Also, because of what he does, it has allowed him to take pride in who he is and where he comes from. Everyday he's learning to truly love himself from the inside out.

Eugene Lee Yang, even though you don't know me and I've only known what I've seen from you through your work. I must say I am very, very proud of you. Keep going!

Love, Leo Brown :)

What do you think?
Who is your favorite try guy?
Who should be the next star reading?
Leave your comments below.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Getting REAL about relationships.

For most of my life, I've been in love with love. However, I've come to realize that I'm not alone in this fact. Many of us both men and women are or have been at one point and time. In love in with the mistress called L.O.V.E.  There comes a time when you stop begin in love with love and start getting real.

Not just about love but why we're in love with the idea and fantasy of begin loved but not doing the work of loving someone from an unconditional, genuine place. Now, I'm not saying there's anything with begin in love with love because love is one of our purest emotions but if you always choose to have rose colored glasses on. It can and will cause a problem. Here's a few things that I've seen that contribute to our ongoing infatuation with love,

1. Society: Society as a whole plays a HUGE role in how we view relationships. Think about it for a moment. When you look back on say, your childhood. What kind of love did your parents have with each other? Did they fight with each other? Were they openly affectionate with each other? If you were raised by a single parent, was your mother or father almost too guarded for their own good? Did they carry the pain of their past relationships with them? (example: Your daddy/mommy ain't shit)

How do you get real with this? Start by slowly going within and seeing how you may differ from the things society has taught you. While at the same time embrace the habits you've picked up from society and get to work both inside and out on correcting them if you so choose.

2. Movies/TV/Books: Even though we now know that the movies and television that we watch and even the books we read are all fantasy Some of us still wish for that our love lives or friendships were like the things we see and read.  There's nothing wrong with watching television, movies or reading books. The problem comes in when we become the damsel in distress or so fiercely self reliant that we either want someone to rescue us or we push everyone we meet that may be worth it away.

How do you get real with this? Realize that the things we see on the screen, in books and on the tube are just that. Things. They're not real. They're just aspects of our human character. There's nothing wrong with admiring a television character, an actor or a book character. Just take their traits and see them in yourself.

3. Friends/Couples: We all have been here at one point or another. We walk into a room and realize that we're the only single person in the bunch. Of course, for some of us this can be a bummer. We want to be where they are and at times we may think, "What is wrong with me?" or that we'll be single forever.

How do we get real about this? Look around you. Look at the couples and friends who are boo'ed up. Are they really happy? or are they just in the relationship because they think or feel that they can't or won't do any better?  How many times have you seen or heard your friends who are married fight, argue or received a phone call from that one friend who is always "going through it" with someone they're so in love with? What we must realize is that every relationship has problems, every relationship is different and that just because our coupled up friends say that they're happy it doesn't mean that they are. In other words, look beneath the surface.

4. Serial Dating/Serial Committers/Not Wanting To Be Alone.  We all know one or have even been one. That person who jumps from person to person in a matter of months, weeks or sometimes days. Why? Because the spark of the once budding relationship has flickered out and we're moving on to the next. Things end we all know that. However, if we go from person to person and don't take our part of the ending of the relationship. We're not only hopping but running and that's a problem.

How do we get real with this? Simple. Sit your ass all the down, shut what they call the fuck up and be alone. At least for six months to a year to figure yourself out. What do really want? Do you want a partner? ,A plaything or just the D? There's nothing wrong with wanting either but stop looking for someone to fill a hole that only you can fill. Love yourself and be happy with who you are and where you are.

Love, Leo Brown :)

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Star Readings: Donna Mills.

The eyes have it! Donna Mills has always captivated us with her sensual,smoldering looks and the way that she delivers a biting but truthful line. It doesn't matter what role she chooses to play. She makes sure that she is both seen and heard. Donna Mills was born to stand out and sometimes stand on her own. There's a reason she's a diva with a capital D. However, I'm going to look beyond the glam and find the woman behind those eyes.

Donna and Love.

What I pick for Donna is the feeling of “Ahh”. When it comes to love, romance and relationships. Donna is at the place now where everything just fits but there's still more to learn not only about herself but the man she is with. There's a deep love here for the simple fact that they both allow each other to have space both personal and emotional. He loves her more than she knows and there's sides to her that no one in front of a camera will ever see. They're each others everything and you wouldn't think it but there's a great deal of humor in their relationship. They keep each other laughing all of the time.

Donna's Health and Family Life.

Donna, don't worry so much about your daughter. She's going in the right direction and you've raised her to be very much a lady but a free spirited one. When it comes to family as a whole I pick up that Donna misses many members of her family, for some reason her mother pops into my mind and I pick her wanting to travel not only to visit certain people but just to go back to her roots for a bit. Which is something she may do in the middle of next year. When come to her health I don't pick up any huge heath issues as she's very aware of her body and listens to it quite well. However, I do pick up some minor joint stiffness when it comes to her wrists and legs. Nothing too serious girl, just keep moving and try a hand at yoga.

Donna's Career.

Two Words: Red Hot! Donna is acting, writing and producing. There's some things on the table right now. I want to say four projects that she is in talks with. I see her thinking about many of her projects as I see that she doesn't want to wear herself too thin. There's also a book coming as well but there may but more than one book. Especially one about aging gracefully while in front of the cameras. If you're looking for a kiss and tell book keep looking but there will be some revelations about her that Donna is going to reveal. I also pick up Donna becoming more emotionally aware as the book progresses.

Donna and Spirituality.

Meditative and contemplative. Those are the energies I get when spirituality and Donna come together. Donna definitely believes in higher power but she's not one to share it with you. When it comes to that aspect of herself. She's very private and I pick up that the power of prayer along with mind and body healing are very big parts of Donna's life. Something happened in Donna's life about 2-7 years ago that made her faith become very strong and very solid. She also is very intuitive and very wise to those who want to listen to her. Beneath the vamp is a kind, passionate and emotional woman. Donna cares about those she loves and the world around her. The next 2-4 years I see her becoming even more involved in environmental work and charity work concerning children. Ms. Donna Mills truly is an earthy diva with a heart of gold.

Love, Leo Brown :)
What do you think?
What is your favorite role that Donna has played?
Who should be the next star reading? Leave your comments below.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Embracing My Oshun/Aphrodite~Why I LOVE Begin Feminine.

I am a feminine man. I know, know it's hard to see because in the words of Madtv's Ms. Swan "I look like a man." For many, many years. I hated everything to do with the divine feminine that was within me. Because I was taught that for me begin feminine was weak, wrong and not to be messed with.

In both of the of the black and gay communities. There is a lot of shaming. Across the board. It doesn't matter if it is masculine, fat, fem, black, white, top or bottom. Shaming within our communities happen. Because of the sometimes mixed messages received within our community.

I felt as if I had to choose between the two polarities that live within not only me but within everyone. Even as I was growing up I always related to the experiences of a woman or saw myself in the women around me. Which was often times met with dirty looks or the you need Jesus talk. In my growing up, I was taught that if you weren't a masculine or didn't like fuckin' wit hoes, smoking weed or sports.

I didn't want to do the things that typical men did. I wanted to play with dolls, do Diana Ross impersonations and have long, flowing hair. Which I did in high school.   Sports and trash talking just didn't fit me. Even now whenever I walk into a barber shop. I always get a little scared. I think to myself "Bitch, don't runway walk too fast in here!" Or "Why did you wear those jeans? Ain't no trade in here!" 

Because I knew that at any given minute. My fem side was either come falling out of my mouth with a "Hello." or my hands as it's perfecting it's Shirley Bassey mannerisms or going to somehow blow my cover.

Even as I came into goddess worship and paganism. It was still hard to embrace that not only begin feminine was okay but apart of who I was. I'm not gonna lie. There was apart of me that wanted to blend in. I wanted a deep, bass voice, rippling muscles and to be rough and rugged. Now am I hairy? Somewhat. Do I have muscles? Hmm, if I workout a lot and I mean A LOT. Bass Voice? Forget it. Rough and Rugged? Chile' no. The only thing I like rough is my chicken and rugged. Does a blanket count?

It has taken me years to embrace that if you want a straight acting guy and there's nothing wrong with wanting a man like that but if you're looking for that guy within me you won't find it. How did I embrace my femininity you ask? Simple. I met Oshun/Aphrodite and all the other goddesses of love and nature.

Through my meetings with them they taught me that's okay to be just me. So what if I wore makeup, high heel boots, lashes and things of that nature others did too. I didn't have to choose. I just had to admit and embrace that this was part of me and that the things I wore were just that. Things. I am still a man. I am not less of a man if anything I am more of a man. Simply because I am the things I once was not. I am confident, comfortable and complete with me.

That's not to say that I don't or haven't embraced my masculinity. Quite the contrary, I have but not in what society has told us what masculinity is. I embrace my maleness in things like business, career and of course sexual prowess. What I'm learning is femininity and masculinity are nothing to be ashamed of. They are to be celebrated because you cannot have one without the other.

I AM SHE AND SHE IS ME! I AM HE AND HE IS ME!  Together we are one. So mote it be!

Love, Leo Brown :)